


The Ribbon On My Wrist

by Literally_No_One_Cares



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon-typical swearing, Dex has a Big FamilyTM, Dex's mom and sister are there too, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Nursey has SO many moms you guys, Present Tense, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Trans!Dex, With A Twist, alcohol mention, i love my trans gay lobster son, its the one where you have your worst enemy's name on one arm and your soulmate's on the other, my son is trans and I love him very much, this is a lil angsty but it's all good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 21:29:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8417533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Literally_No_One_Cares/pseuds/Literally_No_One_Cares
Summary: This isn't how this whole soulmate-enemy thing is supposed to work.(Or, Dex and Nursey are angsty, Holster is scared his children are dead, Dex has six siblings, and Nursey has so many moms.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> This honestly got a little out of hand. I decided not to use a name for before Dex changed his name because it seemed disrespectful to him? My son doesn't need to be referred to by his deadname?

When Derek is thirteen, it happens. It happens to everyone at thirteen, but not usually like... _this_. He’s seen the names on other kids, on adults, on his parents. On his mom, one wrist bears his father’s name (as Derek refers to him, his sperm donor) and the other has his mama’s name. His mama is her soulmate, his father is her worst enemy, though there was a time when they believed themselves to be soulmates (hence Derek's existence).

But Derek’s names show up, and he feels like he's going to throw up. He feels like a lot of things, actually. He feels like crying, screaming, breaking things. But he doesn't, he doesn't have a temper tantrum like he wants to. He just stares at both his wrists and sits silently for a while, trying desperately to understand how this could happen.

Written in scratchy letters, the same on both arms, the name William stares back at him, taunting him.

* * *

He's [deadname redacted] to the world. He hates it. It's not his name, he knows it's not his name. Somewhere, someone has his real name on them (someone named Derek). He likes to think that his name on Derek’s skin says William, like his father’s name.

He's known for a while that there must be something wrong with him. That was the reason why his soulmate was his enemy too.

He thought he might mess it up. That they would be together, and then he would ruin it, and make Derek hate him (even without knowing him yet, William couldn't bring himself to hate Derek at all).

He hopes Derek’s wrist says William and not [deadname redacted]. He likes the idea of people calling him Will, maybe his ma calling him Liam because to her, Will is his dad.

He writes it down, just once, to see what it looks like in his handwriting. He knows his handwriting is pretty sloppy and maybe sometimes hard to read, but William looks so _right_ , so much more than [deadname redacted] ever could.

* * *

When Derek meets him, he knows that this is the William whose name is on his skin, but he can't bring himself to say anything.

He introduces himself as Will Poindexter, and Derek swears he can feel his wrists burning. He always thought that part was a myth--people claimed that their enemy’s name burned the first time they met, and their soulmate’s name had more of a tingle to it.

Derek hurts. It hurts to know that he's going to love this boy, this awkward, angry redhead that he's only just met, and that they're already doomed to never be together. His heart is already breaking before he gets a chance to have this boy, even for a little while.

* * *

William is not going to fall in love. He's going to keep himself from having to experience the pain of losing Derek--Nursey, the team is calling him--by keeping Derek away from him. All he has to do is make Derek hate him so much that they never even acknowledge that they're soulmates. And then he's free to find someone with a platonic soulmate who wants him. It's foolproof.

But it's not. He takes one look at Derek Nurse, and his heart swells. His right wrist burns intensely, his left wrist not as much, and he's already fallen.

He can still protect himself. He won't have to hurt as much if they're never together. Just push Derek away. Yell at him. Scream. Tell him he's wrong about anything and everything. Insult him. Learn to hate him.

William is scared that he can't do it.

* * *

Dex knows. Dex knows that they're enemies, Derek can tell because he's constantly starting fights with him.

It makes him consider something he hadn't thought about yet; what if William was his soulmate, but he wasn't William’s? He didn't think it had happened before, and yet once the idea had hit him, he couldn't let go of it. That must be it. He’s in love with Dex and Dex isn't in love with him. Dex already has a soulmate, he doesn't have two of the same name like Derek does.

He tells himself that he can handle it, that he can get through this. That as long he’s constantly level headed, artificially calm, he won't hurt as bad. That he just has to get through four years of college and then he never has to see Dex again.

Derek’s lucky his roommate is literally never home. It would be embarrassing to cry this much in front of someone.

* * *

Dex wonders if Derek knows. He wonders if he realizes that his soulmate and his enemy are the same William, or if he thinks that the names are a coincidence. He wonders what Derek really thinks about him, if he’s all emo and writes dumb poems about how his soulmate is doomed to never be with him, or if he's glad that Dex is his enemy. He wonders if Nursey finds him physically attractive at all, or if he sees him as repulsive as Dex sees himself.

Dex really isn't sticking to the plan.

He should stop thinking about Nursey so much. That would probably help a lot. It's too bad that he can't, that it's too late. He's in too deep and he can't find his way out.

They're not talking at all anymore. No. They only scream. Derek says something stupid and then Dex screams at him. It's a practiced overreaction, he's spent all year perfecting it. It stings to see how badly it's hurting Derek, but it's better than the way they would both hurt if they got too close.

At the end of the year, Nursey doesn't even say goodbye to him. He deserves it.

* * *

The next year, it's worse. It's so much worse. Derek can't place it, but something has changed about Dex in the months they've been apart. He carries himself differently, more confidently. He wears clothes that fit better, nothing that hangs loose like it did before. He's grown a couple inches, so that they're the same height now, and his features seem stronger. His jaw is sharper, his eyebrows are thicker, and Nursey is weak.

He’s changing with everyone else in the locker room, which he didn't do before. Nursey never really thought about it before. Dex has scars on his chest, but they're fading, barely noticeable--Derek thinks he saw scar vanishing cream in his bag. Dex is very careful about not letting his towel slip, and Derek never sees him without underwear on.

He knows he shouldn't look; he catches a glimpse of his name on Dex’s right arm anyway. It hurts.

He really shouldn't be looking close enough to notice...Bitty has scars like Dex’s. They're older, more faded, hardly even there. He doesn't ask either of them, but he wonders what type of surgery they had. He wonders if he could have been there to comfort Dex.

He googles ‘surgical scars on chest’ later and learns the words ‘double mastectomy.’

* * *

“You know, I don't think I've ever asked if you guys have met your soulmates,” Holster says. It's post-kegster, only the Haus residents, Derek, and Will are still there. Ransom and Holster are currently occupying the floor in front of the couch.

“You know my answer,” Ransom says, smiling sweetly before pecking Holster’s cheek. “And I met my enemy too. His name is Chad S. He's on the lacrosse team, but there's like ten Chad’s so I had to go from Chad to Chad to figure out which one I hated the most.”

“Dude, Shitty’s is Chad R.,” Lardo interjects. She's laying upside down, half on the couch, half on the floor; Dex thought she was passed out.

“Bro, why do you know Shitty’s enemy? Are you his soulmate?” Holster gasps. She doesn't deny it. “Bro!”

“I’ve met mine! What about you, Nursey? Have you met your soulmate?” Chowder asks. Dex thought he was out too, but apparently not.

He waits, looking anywhere but Nursey (who’s leaned up against the wall near the kitchen), to hear what Derek will say.

“Yeah. But it's not...I don't think I'm his soulmate so it doesn't really matter. It's chill though, soulmates can be platonic,” Derek says after an agonizing pause. “I don't even know if that's a thing but he doesn't act like he's my soulmate, so. I don't know.”

“Bummer, man,” Lardo says, lifting her head up and letting it fall back down. “What about you Bits?”

“Well,” Bitty starts, coming to stand in the kitchen doorway with a dishrag in his hand, “my enemy is a boy named Clay that I doubt I’m ever going to see again, after how he treated me when we were younger. And my soulmate...isn't out yet so I can't say his name, but I promise he's good to me and I love him a lot.”

Dex is so uncomfortable. He needs to get out, he needs to be able to breathe--

“Dex, sweetheart, have you met your soulmate?” Damn it Bitty.

The hopeful look in Derek’s eyes smashes his heart into a million pieces.

“...yes. But it's super messed up,” Dex admits. His gaze locks on the ground. He doesn't want to see what Derek’s eyes are trying to say to him. “I don't think he'll ever want to be with me now, and I thought that was for the best, but…”

There’s a shaky breath, the floor creaks, and then the door slams. Derek has run away from him.

“Dex, bro,” Ransom addresses him, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder, “you should go after him.”

* * *

“Nurse, what the fuck are you doing?”

Derek knows that voice. Normally, when that phrase is used by the owner of that voice, it's laced with contempt and anger, but right now it sounds exasperated and just a tiny bit concerned. He doesn't blame him; Derek is halfway up a tree at three a.m.

“I'm climbing up here so that if anyone comes to get me they won't be able to. I want to be alone right now and Rans and Holts’ll try to take me back to the Haus,” Derek tells him truthfully. It had seemed like a better idea when he was still on the ground, though.

“I'm not going to take you back to the Haus, mostly because I'm not Holster so I can't carry you,” Dex sighs. “But I'm not leaving.” To punctuate this, he plops down at the base of the tree and leans his head against its trunk.

They sit quietly for a while, Dex on the ground and Derek in the tree, before Dex breaks the silence. “Can I just ask you one thing?”

“What, Dex?”

“Which name is on your wrist? I mean...is it Will, or William--my mom calls me Liam, since my dad’s name is Will,” Dex asks.

That really wasn't what Derek was expecting. “It says William. Were you...did you think it was…”

“My deadname?” Dex finishes for him. “I figured you probably knew. I always thought that that was why I had the same name on both sides, that since I was so messed up, I'd make my soulmate my enemy. Part of me thought it was because I wasn't a girl.”

“I thought you were mine but I wasn't yours.”

“I tried so hard not to love you,” Dex admits. “I guess that's why you would get that idea.”

Derek hadn't given it much thought, but now that Dex is saying it out loud, it makes a lot of sense. He had been pushing Derek away on purpose. And the way he said it…

“Tried?”

Dex lets out a startled, broken sound that might have been classified as a laugh, if it didn't sound like someone had just punched him in the stomach. “Yes, Nursey, I'm in love with you. Thanks for reminding me.”

Derek contemplates jumping down from the tree, and how likely it is that he would injure himself. “I love you too, you know.”

“How? How could you possibly love me after everything I've said to? I've been going out of my way to hurt you since the day I met you,” Dex points out.

“Yeah, but that just means we got the enemies thing out of the way already,” Derek offers up. Carefully, because this is the worst possible moment to break his leg, he starts back down the tree so he and Dex can have this conversation face to face.

“And besides,” Derek says once his feet are on the ground, “now that I know you love me, you're kind of stuck with me.”

Dex smiles up at him. “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah. Even if we still fight like enemies, I'll know that you love me. You can't take it back. ‘M so fucking in love with you. And also very sleepy.”

“It's three in the morning dipshit,” Dex informs him, but it doesn't have the same bite as it used to.

“Maybe you should take me back to your dorm then. I had three cups of tub juice, and you know I can't walk straight sober,” Derek giggles. He's actually sobering up a bit already; he wants to sleep next to his soulmate, though, so he's putting it on a little thick.

“The guys probably think we're coming back to the Haus,” Dex thinks aloud. “Fuck it. We’re going to my dorm and I'm going to cuddle the shit out of you, Nurse.”

Maybe Derek's drunker than he thinks, because as he helps Dex up, he swears his wrist is like, numb or something. It's not exactly pins and needles, no, it's more like every nerve in his arm is malfunctioning all at once, like it itches underneath the skin. But it's not...bad?

Is this what they talk about, when they say it tingles when you meet your soulmate?

* * *

Dex wakes up to twenty-seven missed calls, forty-five texts, two snaps, a letter slipped under his door, and a head resting on his chest. Since Nursey’s still asleep, he decides to leave the letter alone and look at his phone. Of the missed calls, there are only three voicemails.

“ _Hi Dex, it’s Bitty. Sweetheart I know you're probably asleep right now but Holster wouldn't leave me alone until I called you. Text me when you wake up, and maybe text Holster too. He's all shook up, bless him_.”

“ _WILLIAM J. POINDEXTER, I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU OR NURSEY SINCE LAST NIGHT AND I’M GOING TO KILL YOU WHEN I SEE YOU BECAUSE YOU’VE GOT ME CONVINCED THAT YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD_.”

 _“Um, hey, Dex...Bitty just texted me to tell me Holster’s having some sort of breakdown? Something about not hearing from you after you left really late last night? Maybe you should let Holster know you weren't mugged, eh?_ ”

They had Jack call him? Wow, Holster must be really worried. He reads the texts next; thirty of them are from Holster, five are from Ransom, and ten are from Chowder (and four of those are just question marks). The snaps are also from Ransom, pictures of Holster’s distraught face only captioned with ‘look what u did bro’.

“Ugh, babe,” Nursey groans, apparently awake now. “Put your phone on silent before you go to bed. It's been blowing up all morning. Something about Holster being scared that we’re dead.”

“You read my texts?” Dex asks, but it's less accusatory than it is bemused.

“It wouldn't stop going ooooooff,” Derek whines. “And somebody was banging on the door too. How did that not wake you up? You sleep like you're in a goddamn coma.”

“I have a big family. You learn to sleep through anything,” Dex tells him.

“So there are a lot of Poindexter’s, huh? I can't wait to meet all of them. Anyone else in your family as pissy as you?”

“...there are only two Poindexter’s. I was adopted when I was fifteen but I kept the last name,” Dex says softly. “So me and my sister are Poindexter’s, and the rest of the family are Shepherd’s.”

“Ok. So I just learned a thing,” Nursey laughs awkwardly. “I'm the only Nurse in my house, and my moms’ last names are hyphenated.”

Dex stares at his phone a second, then reopens snapchat. “Hey, smile,” he tells Nursey, right before he takes the picture. He types out ‘tell him I was asleep’ and sends it to Ransom, and then texts Bitty.

_‘Sorry Bits, we were asleep. I'm sorry for worrying you guys so much...tell Holster I’ll mow the lawn at the Haus every other weekend for the rest of the year.'_

“So how many siblings _do_ you have? I need to know what to expect for when I meet them,” Nursey asks.

“So there’s me and Shannon, we’re identical twins,” Dex begins, “Well, maybe not so identical anymore. We’ve been with Mom and Dad since we were eleven, and they cried when I told them I wanted to change my name to his. But anyway, I've got two older brothers, Jeremy and Matt, and an older sister, Linda, then two little sisters, Lonnie and Kayleigh.”

“Linda, Lonnie, Kayleigh...that's seven kids! Nine people live in your house? At the same time? And you don't kill each other?”

“Only Shannon, Lonnie, and Kayleigh still live there, technically. I'm here at Samwell, so I only stay there on breaks. But yeah, at one time there were nine people there. And Mom and Dad fostered other kids that they didn't adopt, so sometimes it was more.”

“Jesus, Dex,” Nurse breathes out, “that's a big family.”

“Shannon’s planning on coming to Samwell soon. She wanted to save up, and she can get scholarships she just wanted to wait so that we wouldn't be paying two tuitions at the same time for four whole years. I think I’ve got her convinced that after Lardo graduates she's going to be our manager.”

“Do you think she'll meet her soulmate here?” Derek says. “I mean, you did. And like, the rest of the team.”

Dex smiles. “I hope she will. She's been going crazy looking for her--her name is Lindsey.”

Dex’s phone starts ringing then. He looks down at expecting Holster or Bitty, but it's not anyone on the team. No, it's his ma, calling him out of the blue.

“I guess I should answer this,” Dex tells Nursey as he puts his phone to his ear. “Morning, Ma.”

“ _Liam honey put me on speakerphone I know he’s there and I want to say hi_ ,” she says, without even saying hello. “ _Liam, come on. I know you and Derek got together last night, your baker friend tweeted about it and I'm following him._ ”

Reluctantly, Dex puts the phone on speaker. “Ma, I didn't know you had a Twitter. Ok, you're on speaker now.”

“ _Derek, hi honey. I'm so happy for you boys! You know, I read that one in four people find their soulmate at Samwell. I guess you guys are one in four_ ,” she says, loudly. Dex’s mom is one of those people who yells into her phone, and she always has been.

“I guess so,” Derek agrees. “I keep telling Will I can't wait to meet the entire family.”

“ _Ma, who’re you on the phone with?_ ” The voice that says it sounds like a girl. Dex recognizes her immediately, but Derek has no clue who she is.

“ _It's your brother and his Soulmate_ ,” Dex can feel the capital S. “ _Liam, say hi to Shannon._ ”

“Hey Shan,” Dex complies.

“ _Shannon, how do I do that time-face thing?_ ”

“I _t’s FaceTime, Ma,_ ” Shannon sighs, but presses the button to call the boys on FaceTime instead.

“ _It's nice to meet you face to face, Derek. Well, sort of,_ ” she laughs.

Nursey shifts to sit up a little more. “You too, Mrs. Shepherd.”

“ _Mrs. Shepherd? Mrs. Shepherd is my mother-in-law, Derek. You can call me Ma, sweetie. You're family, now,_ ” she reprimands.

“Just what I need, another mother,” Derek laughs. The joke is lost on Dex’s mom, but Dex laughs too. “Oh, both of my parents are remarried. So, I have my mom and my mama that raised me, and a stepmom from my dad.”

“ _Oh goodness!_ ” she gasps. “ _Sweetie, you have so many mothers!_ ”

“ _That's a lot of moms,_ ” Shannon mumbles.

“ _When can you boys come to visit?_ ” Ma says to shift the conversation. “ _I’d love to see you in person soon._ ”

“Thanksgiving?” Dex suggests.

“ _That's so far away,_ ” she says, frowning. “ _But it's better than waiting until Christmas.”_

This, right now, is making this all so much more real to Dex. His mother wants to meet Derek--his soulmate. Derek is really here, still nuzzled into his shoulder. He has this. He's allowed to have this. They're choosing to be soulmates despite being enemies too.

Dex really couldn't ask for anything else.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for the read! (Couldn't resist making a reference to my fic about Bitty's little sister...which you can find on my cp blog troey-jibiani (I think I'm going to post it here too))


End file.
